Friday, January 11, 2013

“Nouggie at the Mets”

Man I Love the Mets. While everyone in New York is in love with the Yankees and their gazillion World Series wins, I have a special place in my heart for the Mets. When I was a little girl my father always watched them and only tuned into the Yankees when the Mets weren’t playing. So with that said, if you didn’t watch the Mets, you couldn’t watch the Yankees in my house and I grew up to be a Mets fan by hostage.  I became the one who’d walk into a bar wearing a Mets hat and jersey during a Mets-Yankee Subway series in my Bronx hometown. and secretly loved the heckling and jostling I got when I walked in. Now that I’ve given you a little background on my loyalty to the Mets, here’s my “Nouggie” story.
I met this great guy that was a total sports buff. He worked out, looked good coming and going and was a total sweetheart. I had known him for a couple of years but we were more acquaintances than anything else, but I had a little crush on him. We finally came to a point in our lives where we were both free and he asked me out to a Mets game. Now I had gone out on one or two dates with him already and knew that he was a bit of a sports fanatic but I liked him anyway and felt I could deal with it until we hit the Mets” pavement….
From the minute “Mike” and I got out of the subway everything was a challenge with him. It was, “let’s run to the stadium from here,” or “let’s race up the ramp to our seats!!” But once we got there and settled in for the cheering and jeering, for some reason this guy thought I was his kid brother instead of his date. The Mets hit a home run and out of nowhere he grabs me by the head, puts it under his armpit and gives me a Nouggie of front of all New York. I got out of his hold screaming “Are you mad? WTF is wrong with you?!!” “Oh I’m sorry but did you see that?” “No I was under your armpit!”
After that we were done. The only Nouggie Mike got was the one he gave me at the Mets.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Lobster Tail Anyone?

Janet and I had been best friends for a long time and met while we were living in the same building.  We met this guy at a mutual girlfriend’s birthday party (who happened to live in the same building as we did) whom we thought was a pretty decent, upstanding kind of guy in our “books”. 
One day he happened to ring my downstairs buzzer instead of Janet’s by accident. “John” asked for Janet and I said it was me and he apologized. I let him in. Now Janet and I lived right across the hall from each other. Instead of ringing HER doorbell, he rang MINE.  I opened the door cordially and asked him what he wanted.  He said, “You know, I ‘m here to go to lunch with Janet but if you want to come, it would be great.” At first I said no, and then Janet opened her door. “Hi! I just heard you guys out here. So John, I’m ready when you are. Let’s go.” He said, “Oh I was just asking Sevda if she wanted to go too.”  I interjected, “No you guys, go already. It’s your date, not mine.”  Janet said, “yeah let’s go.” John said, “No she can’t stay here on such a lovely afternoon. Come with us. It’s alright. I’m inviting.” So Janet and I looked at each other and decided why not? Looks like this guy’s in for a treat.
We go to this expensive Italian neighborhood restaurant he picks out. This guy is all smiles with the waiter as if he’s got a secret when we all sit down for lunch. He has two attractive women with him which he was obviously interested in and it was even more obvious that he was trying to double date us at the same time.  Janet and I caught on and decided to go to the ladies room together to decide what we were going to do with him.
“Janet, this guy called you up for a date, right?”
“Yeah he did and now we’re all on the same date. That’s messed up.”
“And you know what? He’s been calling me just to “chat” but I’m not one to have guys around for a chat, Janet. That’s why I have women friends for but what I really think is that he’s trying you out and then if he doesn’t like you, I’m next. If you like him, take him, Janet. He’s not for me.” I said.
“I don’t like him that much!  I haven’t been out on a date in a long time. I’m here for the lobster!”
I exclaimed, “Oh that’s funny!! Okay we gotta get a plan now. He’s got us here on a double date. So let’s do this. Let’s flirt with him like crazy and then order lobster and anything else that’s expensive. You order the lobster and I’ll order up the desserts and anything else that’s expensive. That’ll teach him not to ask two girls out on the same date and be obvious about it! Let’s go!”
We get back to the table and did exactly as we planned.   He was in heaven until the bill came. Afterwards, we had him drop us off in front of our building. We made sure we left him hanging out there to dry....
And please don’t even feel sorry for this guy. Afterwards he kept on trying to date the two of us at the same time. I know because every time he called either one of us for a date, we’d say no and then call each other! Who man thinks he can call two best friends who live directly across from each other to try to get lucky! What an ego!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Why Does a Doctor want to ask me "What Color is Your Bra?" on Our First Date

I have so many favorites to choose out of my gallery of first dates because mind you, these are, for the most part, first date experiences but this one has got to be up there! So sit down and get out some popcorn and just watch out that you don't blow any out your nose while laughing!

I met this guy, an internist, through a newspaper dating ad. OK stop choking....there's your first red flag. Never do that, but I did it a few times, maybe 3.  What you do is make up your ad and you put it on their phone system and you call the ad through its number. Well I did that and this doctor calls me up and was sweet over the phone and all and we set up a date at a restaurant.

We get to the restaurant and there's some chemistry going on between us and after a little while, he started getting a little overly descriptive and started using dirty words for body parts. Now you'd think that a doctor (or so-called) would use correct words for intimate body parts especially on a first date. NO. He started using these words in our conversation which first of all, we shouldn't have been having since we just met but it started out innocently enough so at first, I didn't mind but then it got a little out of hand. He used the pri*k word for penis and the c**t word for the vagina in his language. I stopped him after it went on a little bit too long and said, "hey, didnt you say you were a doctor? Don't you know any nice words when speaking to a lady?" He says, "We're all adults here." (Famous last words...sorry guys, but while we ARE "all adults here", there is a thing called "CLASS" and this guy didn't have it.)  I said to him that I would appreciate it if he cleaned it up. So he stopped doing it for like a minute but then he went back. I interjected and said, "Listen, you're a doctor, right? then why can't you use the appropriate words? It's making me uncomfortable and I think I'm gonna leave." "OH no, I'm sorry, I thought it was okay and that you were kidding. I'm so sorry. Let's start over." I said ok. Then halfway through dinner, he started up again. I put my fork down and said, "Ok I'm done." He apologized once again, stood up and said, "Let's really start from the beginning. Hi - my name is Mark." His boyish grin was so damn cute, I caved. We sat down and there was no more of it. For now.

After dinner he invited me to have a drink at his place which was close by. We were in Brooklyn.  I weighed the pros and cons of it all and decided, dammit, he's so cute. I thought, ok, maybe I can have a drink, enjoy some kisses, go home and maybe wait on a second date. For now.

We finished dinner, parked our cars out front and went in. He had a small but nice house in Bay Ridge.  As you entered there was one long beige couch against the left side wall and there was a large Lazy Boy chair in front of the kitchen island facing the front door which I left unlocked.(Hint: If you've never been to a man's house before, it's a good idea to do that if you can. Hey, safety first.)  I sat on the couch and slipped off my heels. 

So Mark is popping the cork on a nice bottle of red wine and in the middle of conversation, he asks, "What color is your bra?" I'm like, "Whaaaat???"  "What color is your bra? I just have a thing that I wanna know."  I said, "None of your business. I'm wearing one and that's all you need to know. Now are you going to get all stupid again and start talking nasty because I can leave. No problem, my car is right outside."  "No, NO. Don't leave. I'm sorry." "Mark, you must have a problem." He smiles and whispers,  "Yeah, I know, but what color is it?" as he slides himself into the spot next to me. I let out a big sigh and said one more time, "None of your business." He got all excited by my remark and said, "Now you REALLY gotta tell me because it MUST be a REALLY GOOD color." I finally burst the color out of my mouth, "teal blue."  Oh my goodness. Why did I say THAT for? He flies up out of the couch with a big grin and cockily goes back to pouring the wine. For now.

So I think, ok, now I got this guy under control, he knows the color of my freakin' bra and maybe he'll calm down for now. But from behind the counter, his words float over to me, "Show me your bra." I was like, "What da f**k  now?"  Mark confidently comes back to the couch. "Show it to me. You said it was teal blue. I knew you were wearing something really nice. Now I want to see it." Now I'm thinking, this freakin' guy thinks he's cute but he's just pissing me off. I tell him, "Nope. You got the color and I'm not showing it to you." "Aw come on, I gotta see it." Aw crap. I cave in, yes, once again. I snap a bra strap at him and he's all pleased as a pig in poop. He flies up off the couch and gets us our wine glasses. He gives one to me and then instead of sitting next to me again on the couch, he sits in his Lazy boy chair and closes his eyes.  A few moments go by and he says nothing. Dead silence. He opens his eyes and staring out into space, says, "Come here" while pointing to the spot on the floor IN FRONT OF HIM. I said shakily, "What do you want me to do?"  "Come here --- and kneel...." he commanded again in a monotone, dracula-like voice. With THAT,  I grabbed my shoes ever so slowly and said in my sweetest "don't aggravate the monster before you" voice, "I'm sorry, but I've to go now. Thanks for dinner. Yeah, I gotta go." I literally backed out of the apartment and threw the front door open as if I were going to be killed! You've never seen a woman run so fast in her stocking feet in your life!!

And that is the end of my second little dating story, for now...   :-)

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Welcome to Single City Tales

Welcome to my Single City Tales blog. I've been single for quite a long time after my divorce and I think I've just dated about every kind of crazed guy. But one thing I want to be clear on. I'm not a man hater, or user or anything negative like that. I'm actually looking for the right guy. The sweetest guy that's right for me. But in looking for that right guy, I've met and experienced a barage of men that have left me speechless. To boot, they make great copy. :-)   I might as well start with my summer of dates from all over the continent mostly found at one cool bar spot in Greenwich, Connecticut.....

I think I've gone to this location at least 3 times and each time my girlfriend and I went there, I met someone. On this first time out I meet this guy who's a few years older than I am and I'm very used to going out with younger guys solely because that's just been my luck :-) in life, but I thought he was nice. Well, we went on two dates afterwards and all he talked about was what kind of food he could eat because he was watching his cholesterol and kept asking me what I ate and super magnified everything on my plate that was bad. Needless to say, this got really boring right up until we were about to leave. He had to go to the bathroom. Well, off he went and I waited and waited....One of the waiters kept asking me if I was alright, do I need a table, yada, yada. At one point people were looking at me like I was gonna steal something since I was there for way too long.  This guy finally comes out all embarrassed and starts telling me about how he had diarrhea and all. I didn't need to hear this. What a turn off.  We went back to my place where he asked if he could come up and I said, nope, I pass.  Who wants to be with a guy who just told you all of that in less than 2 dates? And cholesterol counting MY plate?  Now I know why I date younger guys.... LOL

Till next time... Sevda in the City